I want you to bear in mind that every cat is unique & has their own preferences & comfort levels. Just like people, some animals may just be more introverted, shy or skittish.
Let's look at the reasons why they may be this way, so as to better understand them first and learn how to make your cat more confident.
1. Fear or Anxiety:
Cats are naturally cautious & may be fearful or anxious around unfamiliar people or in new environments. If a cat has had negative experiences or lacks socialization, they may be more prone to running away or hiding.
2. Past Trauma or Abuse:
Cats that have experienced some form of trauma in the past (e.g. living in hoarder homes) may be fearful, skittish & their first instinct is to run & hide. They may associate people with negative experiences.
3. Lack of Socialization:
Cats should ideally be adopted only after 2-3 months of age, so that they can learn how to socialize & play within their litter & be disciplined by their Mother.
Cats that have not been properly socialized during their early development stages may be more skittish & prone to running away from people.
4. Naturally Shy & Timid:
Some cats naturally have shy or timid personalities. They may prefer to observe from a distance rather than engage directly.
5. Sensory Sensitivities:
Cats have sensitive hearing & can be easily startled by loud noises, sudden movements or strong smells. If they feel overwhelmed or threatened, their instinct is to flee to find a safe space.
Now comes the question - is there ANYTHING I can do to make my cat less shy & more confident?
1. Socialization:
If you are adopting a kitten, allow them to socialize with their littermates. This will save you a lot of "work". Gradually expose your cat to different experiences, sounds & people from a young age. This helps them become more comfortable with new situations & reduces their tendency to be fearful or skittish. Clipping their nails & bathing them from young allows them to accept it as normalcy & get used to it.
2. Providing a Safe & Comfortable Environment:
This is especially important when you bring home a new cat, especially a feral cat. The cat should be isolated to feel safe, recognize it's new home & new pawrents, and get comfortable on its on terms. Ensure that your cat has a secure & stimulating environment with plenty of hiding spots, scratching posts & comfortable resting areas. Provide them with their own litter box, food bowls, fresh water & toys in quiet & accessible locations.
3. Respect Their Boundaries:
Unfortunately, many people do not realize when they are invading their cat's personal space & boundaries. Respect their need for space & avoid forcing interaction - yes, this means not forcing hugs, forcing them to play with your friends & letting them go free when they struggle or try to send you a message to leave them alone. Allow the cat to approach you on their terms & avoid sudden or forceful gestures that could scare them.
4. Positive Reinforcement:
Use positive reinforcement techniques to reward & encourage desired behaviors. Offer treats, praise & gentle petting when your cat shows signs of being relaxed or approaches you. Creating a positive association with with your presence, the presence of other animals & short interaction times will allow them to reciprocate positively. If they felt good & happy, they are more likely to allow more of it.
5. Play & Bonding Time:
Engage in interactive play sessions with your cat using toys that mimic prey behavior. Allow the frightful or shy cat to be the "predator" by allowing them to stalk a toy mouse, or to bat a fluttery butterfly wand. Play sessions can provide mental & physical stimulation while strengthening the bond between you &your cat. Find out what types of toys & play styles your cat prefers and this means no more lazy play! No being on your phone scrolling through Tik Tok while lazily shaking a feathered toy.
6. Slow & Gentle Introductions:
When introducing your cat to new people or other pets, do so gradually & in a calm manner. Allow your cat to approach at their own pace & provide positive reinforcement when they are relaxed. Do not grab or hold themagainst their will. Scratching & biting may follow suit - and it will be your fault! Handle your cat gently with care. Approach them kneeling down from the front, offer a hand or finger for them to sniff, speak in a soft, reassuring voice. Avoid rough handling, which will cause fear or stress.
Positive interactions & exposure to different people, environments & experiences at a young age can help cats become more comfortable around people. Building trust and providing a calm and secure environment can help them feel more at ease.
One of my failed fosters, Kiki, was a very anxious cattery cat who would pace up & down, never allowing you to handle her for more than a few seconds. Now that she has been living with me for almost a year, she greets visitors, lays down next to me, gives me kisses & tolerates prolonged handling.
Time, patience & love can change them slowly, but surely.
Please find below a downloadable Infographic.
Like & Share! You can also refer to my Instagram Post - 5 Things Your Cat Wants You To Know About Touching Him
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